Less than three months

So in less than three months I will be a mother again. Its pretty astounding to me. It seems like we just found out. This pregnancy has flown by for me as I am wrapped up in Aurora ,the stress of moving and all my other lovely health issues that have popped up lately.I feel so blessed to be a mother. I love it, my mom says she has never seen someone who enjoyed their child more. I took that as a great compliment but I do, I love spending my day with my daughter. Sometimes its a pain, and I don't enjoy cleaning the same mess up for the tenth time that day but its hard to get frustrated at someone who is just loving the experience of living. That's how I see Aurora. She has so much fun exploring, trying to understand how things work and then how she can figure out how to do those same activities. She amazes me and makes me laugh everyday. I couldn't be blessed with a more perfect child for me. I already know Gideon is very different from his sister.I'm really hoping for calm and cuddly since Aurora is a little fireball. I'm excited to learn how to parent him as well. I know he will bring us so much joy.

This is probably my last pregnancy and that makes me sad. I know how amazing adoption is and the blessing of it, but I will be sad to not feel this particular sense of greater purpose again. My body is pretty tired, I have had to see a cardiologist this pregnancy and he is worried. Never a good sign. I hopefully find out on Tuesday after more tests what is going on. I wasn't nervous about his findings until I found out he was worried and wanted to see me sooner. So along with other health reasons this probably is it for us. I don't feel like it would be fair to Ben and our children to put them through unnecessary pain or in worse case growing up without me. I just feel so blessed to be able to have had the privilege of having the three I will have carried. I know so many amazing women who haven't been able to even have one so I am truly blessed to be able to raise my two. We currently feel at peace and are excited to be able to focus on our little family together so we can be the best parents possible to our children.