Antsy... Is that a word?

This picture has nothing to do with this post it is just a perfect example of Aurora on Sugar Overload.



Well even if its not that is suddenly how I feel. I go in for genetic testing, an ultrasound for Downs Syndrome and other stuff and the Jack and Jill test tomorrow. I've been fine till now. But well I'm just nervous. I don't feel like I have anything to worry about so its kinda odd. I think I'm nervous about finding out if its a girl or a boy more than anything. I love my girl, she is fabulous and I wanted one.I got my one and now I would be fine with a token girl and a bunch of Mama 's boys.I really want a boy. Ben would be happy with ten girls. If I got another girl great but just after a boy. I NEED a boy.I don't want three girls so if this is a girl I would be afraid to get pregnant again and end up like Shelly. Not that I dont love my Girls but I could not handle that much Estrogen running around my house. I am completely serious when I say if we have three girls I'm done and we are adopting a boy. I love adoption. I love my sibling, niece, and I am so thankful for their birth parents but I want a biological son. It's not Ben its me. I need one.Deep down I feel responsible for Declan's death and I have always wanted a little boy. I love Cyndi's boys. If we could clone Andrew, Jacob or Micheal I would in a minute! I love my other nephews too don't worry but aren't as close to them. So I think I'm scared that this is a girl suddenly and that I wont get my boy.This could be my last pregnancy who knows what my body will do so I want a boy.I need a boy. I am so glad Aurora was a girl. It would have been to hard since she looks an awful lot like Declan.But like I said again I need a boy. So after my gut spilling. I love the name Gideon but I'm not sure it feels right so without talking to Ben these are the ones in the past we have liked. What do You think?

1.Gideon James Lowe
2.Daniel Ezra Lowe - I love both names so it would be hard for me to decide whether to call him Danny or Ezra
3.Jonathan Edward Lowe- I kinda want to save this one for Germany and name him Johan Heinrich which I love but Ben vetoes since in English it means John Henry so maybe if he's born in Germany I can get him to agree?
4.Byron James Lowe
5.Alexander Benjamin Lowe

See why I should have three more boys. I've got great names picked out, oh and by the way I don't have ANY girl names. There aren't too many I like period. I like Anna Marie and Emma and Norah but am not sure I could name a baby those names.Plus, I would have to get Cyndi's okay for Anna Marie since its so close to Mary Anne its backwards basically. Norah sounds just like Aurora so that one's out. I was telling Kathie, Beth, and Shelly if we have girls I can just go with the Sleeping Beauty theme and and do Flora, Fawna, and Merry Weather to go with Aurora or how about Briar Rose? No, I would not do that to my children.