So very tired but good

Its not ten yet here and its been such a very long day. I find Doctors visits to be a bit draining anyway but when your taking your sick kids and its a new doctor in a foreign country.... then I felt like for some reason that I had to do my normal routine on top of the four hours we were gone, plus clean out and scrub my fridge, do laundry and make a not so simple dinner. Then there's the fact that I'm sick as always it seems now. What is wrong with my head?! But I feel strong and liberated sounds incredibly stupid but its true. I got so much accomplished today and it feels pretty darn good! Some times I feel like being a mother is like I threw away all my personality, goals, and intelligence with that first placenta. Sounds harsh but its true. After scrubbing spit up off my shirt since I'm already on my second shirt and its only ten a.m. so I'm really just giving up on being clean then sweeping up a whole box of rice cereal off my well everything in my living room that my "cute" two year old decided to make edible art with and then there's the two loads of laundry I do daily if not three or four I begin to feel numb. Then its finally nine p.m. and I am so tired that I don't care if the health care reform bill passed or not heck at nine after 15 straight hours of mommy duty I don't even really care if there is health care unless someone is puking on me. So today it was nice to feel just feel for a moment. I really do love my children and think they are simply the most amazing little creatures( and worth all the numbness in the world) but I need honest to goodness human interaction with someone who is older than two and doesn't share my last name occasionally. So my goal is to join a group( any kind heck I'll join shadow puppet making if it means I get to talk to another adult female) and ditch my beautiful family a couple nights a month so permaMommy can disappear and Asia can resume inhabiting her body. So my shy side has to hide and let me out so I can make friends. Yes, I have s shy side its ever so hard for me to let people in. Talk to them I can talk to anyone but let them in... I can do this I can make a new honest to goodness friend.Hmmm... I'll probably have to leave my house and PJ's to do that. Better start working on that.