I wanted to put some things in print that I have been feeling so they wouldn't get lost in the pregnancy whirlwind. This is my last pregnancy and I'm excited to cherish every moment including my current puky ones. After so much longing , doubt, guilt and mourning over something I didn't think would happen again, here I am. A year and a half after our journey began to become pregnant again through fertility treatments.I'm not worried about losing this baby though my Dr. and Ben are and are thus watching me like a Hawk. I KNOW that in seven months I will be snuggling the littlest Lowe and relishing in its perfection and Gods goodness. I also know that this is my last pregnancy this is not my last baby. Through this journey I delved into adoption and though I had in my mind extensive knowledge of it ( which I didn't) through the adoption of my siblings and my nieces I discovered so much more. Something I know I am meant to be a part of. When I started to doubt I would ever carry another child I mourned, honestly I did. It was hard on me as I didn't feel like Gideon was my last pregnancy and I hadn't treated it as such but since it was so hard I just honestly tried to get through it to the end reward ( my perfect Gideon). So during this past year we have gone through the; if we have to adopt to add to our family attitude to, it would be a privilege to adopt attitude and I know its something we were meant to do. So I'm thankful for all the emotional time I have been given to go through that roller coaster. So that when we start the process of domestic adoption in a couple years we will prepared and ready emotionally and financially to delve into it head first. So that the littlest Lowe I'm currently carrying will have its friend , playmate and rival just like Aurora and Gideon have. I'm excited for our cabooses. I'm excited for the different journeys and stories that these remaining two will bring into our family and most of all I am so thankful for a Father in Heaven who knows me, my heart and how hard headed I am that he knows I needed all that time to process the changes in my plan to make it more his.Thy will be done Lord, not mine.
* To the inquiries of how I'm feeling: For the last week my latest bedtime has been 9 and I wake up between 7-8 and have been napping every afternoon. I've already had two supremely dizzy days. I have the worst morning(all day) sickness I have ever had this early and I have some serious mood swings and random bouts of crankiness. I have already lost at least 5 pounds. I think closer to ten. Though I am staying well hydrated and am trying to eat small amounts when I'm not nauseous so they will stay down. So far I am craving all things SPICY, salty and vinegary. I also am craving salad which is a new one. Normally I cant even go near anything green! Meat of course except for hamburger meat which I normally detest ( currently love)and chicken that is fried is off limits.And of course as always I Love french fries and small amounts of chocolate.
* To gender questions. I frankly don't know yet give me a month. I know we will have another boy and another girl but I don't know who is coming first. I think I'd rather have a boy for Gideon since Aurora does want a girl but I know this baby will be emotionally closer to Gideon so I'd rather add some testosterone for poor Gid.That and Aurora is how do I put this ummmm... a bit of a bossy bratty drama queen currently( we're trying to work on it believe me!). So it would be easier on me for her not to have to share her Daddys Little Princess title till shes 6 and can handle the addition of estrogen better. But God doesn't usually take my opinion into consideration so we will see.
1 comment:
COngratulations! What an amazing blessing and journey God has sent you on! I will pray for the sickness to subside so you can truly enjoy this again!! Praise the Lord!
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