The Infertility Chronicles: March Update

This is how my children feel about Do not enter signs
Again going under the Do not enter sign, we let them because it was a warning for ice and there wasn't any ice. Yes, were bad parents and let them break the rules.
In the "garage" portion underneath. Umm I want my garage to have that on the wall. I think I feel gypped!
More from underneath the Palace isn't it cool!

Palace Solitude about 20 minutes from where we live and right by the Church.

So evidently people still read my blog and want to know what happened at the doctors. Honestly I am a bit surprised as I don't want to depress people or blather on endlessly so I was going to try and keep that part of my life on the back burner. Well since I've gotten four emails in the last couple days asking I figured I would post an update.

This month we didn't use Clomid, we cant any more as you can only use it for a limited time and its not working. So we have been thinking and praying about our next step. I delved into the world of all things adoption. It was intriguing, informative, frustrating and incredibly overwhelming. Living here we have to follow not only US adoption laws but German as well so we only have three options since Ben wont let me have a beautiful black baby from Ethiopia( yes I'm obsessed, I think black babies are to do die for gorgeous) which is fine really and I do understand his reasons ( he is not racist at all if you know Ben that thought is actually very laughable) so we could adopt from Russia, from the US or from Germany. Those are our only options. Germany its incredibly hard to adopt from since the birth rate is incredibly low and the girls/women are pushed to keep their babies, Russia costs 50k yes FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS. There goes my retirement savings..... so not an option and it would be a long, expensive, tedious process to adopt domestically from the US from here. I just kept getting so incredibly overwhelmed. That was my first clue into my answer that adoption is currently not the answer to adding to our family.

So onto all things to do with injections, surgeries, ultrasounds and hormonal craziness. But thats our answer and I have embraced it.Its funny you decide oh I never want to do that and now thats its right I think ah not such a biggie. So I went to the Doctor to talk to him about IVF on my normal cycle day 12 visit where I get an ultrasound to see how everything is going in there and we decide what to do that month. I go on day 23 as well for another ultrasound and blood work every month. It would be fun if there was something to look at in my uterus instead of measuring its lining and looking for cysts or abnormal growths! I love looking at little heartbeats but I digress.He didnt have time to talk to me about IVF and flatly refused as according to him I'm going to get pregnant this month. I walked into his office not to the normal Hi how are you but "Why aren't you pregnant?"I told him he was supposed to tell me that. He is frustrated, um how does he think I feel? So anyway I think I am going to try a cycle with injections( lots more than I'm doing now) first and then move onto IVF. With the injections we have about a 40 percent chance of multiples(his personal percentages)with a ten percent chance of triplets. Where as at this point if I'm supposed to have a litter I would take it and thankfully but the thought of triplets makes me more than a little woozy.If theres a one percent chance for something to happen to us its gonna happen so....

* Aurora, Ben and I were looking at pictures of a friends beautiful newborn twin boys the other day and Aurora told me she wanted to go get some babies too! We asked her if she wanted another brother or a sister, she paused for a second for thought, "Sister." Funny bug I wish it was that easy to go to the hospital and just pick out a cute new baby girl.It would be fun to have this conversation: Hi, yes I would like a little girl who looks like me and has white blond ringlets, blue eyes, a cleft chin and dimples thanks! Okay, fill out this ONE form and it will be just a minute if you'll wait over there please, I'll call your number when she's ready.

As a side note if I haven't talked to you lately I apologize but we've been so busy I feel like my head is spinning in circles. By the time a decent hour in the states happens its time for dinner here, bedtime and then I crash. It's good though I haven't had time to think about not being pregnant with everything else.