I hate decisions!

I can't decide and I'm driving myself crazy! So to move or not to move? Really the question is to move in April/ May or to move in July/ August that is the question. Sigh. I have an appointment with my OB next Friday so I'm gonna ask what she thinks and at the same time try to convince her to let me have this baby 2 weeks early instead of the normal 7 days since I know this baby will not be waiting that long and I REFUSE TO HAVE A 3RD EMERGENCY C-SECTION!!!!!!! C-sections wouldn't be too bad if you didn't have to labor first! Seriously, We got to the hospital last time I was a 4 when the baby was born 45 minutes later I was a 7 no drugs and was completely freaking out. I know people do natural, I like drugs.But the nurse was very impressed with me since I don't make noise when I'm in pain. We have talked( my OB) and she wont let me labor( stupid holidays last time) but if we are here and I go early Ben will be in Germany and I will be panicking. Panicking is not even the tip of what I will be feeling. The birth after Declan's is what scares the crude out of me not the pregnancy. Uggg! I dont know what to do and the pros and con's of each of my lists pretty much equal out in my opinion and the Lord just wants us to move to Germany. I don't think he really cares if its in April or July. Sigh! One day I decide I'm moving to Germany in April and the next I'm going after Gideon is born. Honestly, I just want the doctor to decide for me! I think she will tell me to stay but well see next Friday. Ugh!